The player and the avatar
Last updated
Last updated
If you only read one part of this whole book, read this screen.
The following concept transformed the way I think and perceive the world. It's a fast way to engage thinking response rather than reaction like fight or flight.
Use this to easier process your anxiety, guilt, shame, joy, or any other feelings that emerge in your life.
Use this as a fast path to gain self-acceptance, self-love, self-care.
Imagine you're playing a game. You are the player. Your avatar is the little character on screen.
Imagine this:
If your Avatar is fat, does it affect you, the Player? No
What if they are thin? Still no.
What if they are yelled at. As a player do you change? You don't.
You might be interested, as the Player to try things - "oh what happens if I eat 10 pancakes and get even fatter!" or "let's try this and see what happens with others" and so on.
In life, you're both the Player and the Avatar.
Whenever folks comment or behave in some way towards you, they behave towards your Avatar.
If they say they love you, it's towards the avatar. If they say they hate you, it's towards the avatar.
The player doesn't change.
You, the Player, are in control of the Avatar.
How to use this concept?
If you're getting anxious -> think "the avatar is getting anxious. What would I do as the player?"
If you're getting happy, etc. etc. -> same as above
Someone tells you "You suck" or "I love you" -> same as above.
As a player, you're connected to the avatar in real life. If the avatar dies, so does the player. Apart from that the Player controls the Avatar.
This simple analogy has profoundly changed how I approach myself and communication.
It's the basis of self-acceptance (I'm Ok as the Player who takes care of the Avatar) regardless of body image, actions, or self-image.
Loving yourself means the Player loving the Avatar. This means the Player works towards the wellbeing of the Avatar.
The Player accepts the Avatar because the Avatar just is. Similar to a video game.
Go to the Player and Avatar thinking multiple times during the day as you notice yourself feeling feelings. Whether good or bad.
Player and Avatar is one of many thinking tools in this book. Keep reading to read about them all.