⚒️Only do things with the joy of a young child feeding a hungry duck

This principle is coming directly from the mouth of the late Marshall Rosenberg, author of nonviolent communication.

How do we apply it?

Is that even possible?

Marshall goes on to clarify:

Please do as I requested, only if you can do so with the joy of a little child feeding a hungry duck.
Please do not do as I request if there is any taint of fear of punishment if you don't.
Please do not do as I request to buy my love, that, is hoping that I will love you more if you do.
Please do not do as I request if you will feel guilty if you don't.
Please do not do as I request if you will feel shameful.
And certainly, do not do as I request out of any sense of duty or obligation.

I think it's possible. Think about it consistently over large periods of time and see what, if anything, changes in your life.

🔧 Tool: Only do things with the joy of a young child feeding a hungry duck.

How would that work? As with the previous principles there are the two aspects of Self and Others:

Self: Think about whether what you're doing in every moment fits the "with the joy of a young child feeding a hungry duck". Use it to check, as often as possible. Thinking specifically about how a situation reflects on you will help improve your wellbeing. Treat it as an aspirational goal. Think: What would make the current situation "with the joy of a young child feeding a hungry duck?"
Others: Tell others to only do stuff if they enjoy rather than feel obligated. Don't just take "yes" for an answer. Tell people it's OK not to do what you ask. If they do it out of obligation, it's likely due to lack of clarify of message. See Clear is kind, unclear is unkind and clarify.

Don't worry if you find it hard. It is hard. Everything easy was hard once. Read more from this toolkit and try to understand your inner needs and feelings (see the chapters on self-awareness, self-acceptance, and active listening.)

Try to get as much as possible towards the ideal above. Aim for 3-5% of the time at first.

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Last updated 1 year ago

🔧 Tool: Only do things with the joy of a young child feeding a hungry duck.

How would that work? As with the previous principles there are the two aspects of Self and Others:

Self: Think about whether what you're doing in every moment fits the "with the joy of a young child feeding a hungry duck". Use it to check, as often as possible. Thinking specifically about how a situation reflects on you will help improve your wellbeing. Treat it as an aspirational goal. Think: What would make the current situation "with the joy of a young child feeding a hungry duck?"

Others: Tell others to only do stuff if they enjoy rather than feel obligated. Don't just take "yes" for an answer. Tell people it's OK not to do what you ask. If they do it out of obligation, it's likely due to lack of clarify of message. See Clear is kind, unclear is unkind and clarify.

Try to get as much as possible towards the ideal above. Aim for 3-5% of the time at first.