Finding yourself

• "if I was by myself right now I'd do X" or I ask her "if it was just you, what would you do?" (usually it's "if it was just you, where would you eat?" while driving for lunch)

• It's important for me (specifically) to distinguish that support doesn't look like "be upset when others are upset and/or try to fix things" but support might look like "figure out the situation, if I want, and choose what to do, if anything"