Request
Whether something is a request or not is usually unclear. That's because two parties are involved and a lot of thinking about it is hidden or subconscious.
The main parts of request (the NVC one) is:
a) has to be about the current moment not future or past
b) is tied to meeting a need that the requestor clearly understands in their head and how it would be met
c) can be recorded with a camera/microphone or constitutes of some ask to "think XYZ"
d) is sent as "Ok if you don't meet it" ask
e) is received as "ok if I don't meet it"
Questions to ask yourself to consider whether something could be a request:
Is it asking for something to happen right now?
If my request is fulfilled, what need would it meet? (Bonus: what are other ways, if any, to meet my need in the moment without making the request?)
Does it contain interpretations, labels, assessments, or diagnoses? Thus, cannot be recorded with camera/microphone or "think XYZ"
Do I truly mean that I will not punish the other party if they don't do what I request?
Is the other party receiving what I say as criticism, demand, or anything else that may result in punishment? (Bonus: How do I find out?)
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