⚒️Clear is kind, unclear is unkind

Communication is really just one thing: clarity of message.

Don't worry about judgement. Look for clarity of message

Don't worry about character. Clarity of message.

When you're ashamed, upset, happy, or any other feeling. Look for clarity.

...

and so on.

What is clarity? It boils down to two things:

1. Are people understanding what I mean?

2. Am I understanding what others mean?

Note the above text doesn't say "Am I being clear?".

You can only be clear if the other side understands you.

Often times people argue "I said X. It's obvious! I'm clear". Think about this: who decides if you're clear? You or the person receiving the message? If someone seems to not understand, are you clear enough?

🦝 Or maybe it's them?

Maybe. Even so: I like to define "me being clear" as only one thing: the other person can understand me. It helps me seek and attempt to provide clarity. The other implication "there's something wrong with them" does not help me.

The concept of clarity of message is so fundamental that Brené Brown, a famous researcher on connection, links it to kindness: Clear is kind, unclear is unkind.

There are two aspects to "clear is kind":

1. Self aspect: Are you kind to yourself? For example, if you feel ashamed do you seek internal clarity of message? Do you look for what your feeling is indicating?

2. Others aspect: Are you kind to others? If someone does not understand you or is upset, do you seek clarity? Do you try to provide clarity?

📙Source: Brené Brown

🔧Tool: Clear is Kind

When you're in a loaded situation remind yourself: Am I being clear thus kind to myself? To others?